Procrastination

Have you ever.... That's a great way to start. Well now it's down to business. I procrastinate it's just something I do. Here's the tricky part though. When to start to actually get it done on time. I don't like to be late. I hate it but I don't like to be incredibly early either. Gee I am kinda rambling. My point is that procrastination is not always a bad thing but it gets bad when you don't know if you'll have enough time to do what is needed. I.E. Reading your bible. I know I put off the important things a lot of the time. The only thing is tomorrow isn't guaranteed so shouldn't you just make sure that you got it covered in cased you wake up one day and tomorrow's gone?

Thrills

Thrills in life are a crazy thing. Some people get a thrill from stealing and others from drinking too much alcohol. Me? Well, I'll tell you I tried a lot of things for a cheap thrill. But the best one I ever had was giving to others. In essence being kind with out reason. I was on a high for practical the rest of the day. Which leads me to wonder why it's so hard to be kind. It's not like it's going to cost you as much as smoking pot or drinking you guts out. People find it so easy to do the worst things. I just wonder why!

Title screen

I am a loafer. I sit around and read blogs all day. Funny how I can make the time to read a blog and comment but so often I find myself making an excuse as to why I couldn't read God's word. I went to see 300 this weekend and it was interesting to me. I read a blog and it reminded me of the movie. The author talk a bit about war. You see I truly want to be a man of God. The weird part of that is you see Godly analogies everywhere even in gory movies like 300. Or another blogger talked about God being like a bus. What I am getting at is this; I made the choice in my heart that I want to be a God man and God saw it and took advantage of it. Now I can't get away even if I wanted to. I'm seeing God in everything. It's nice in a bizarre way and maybe you should try it some time.

Mangled Reports

How do you react? Have you ever had knowledge about something but it wasn't direct. Like you knew that a friend of yours was moving but they hadn't told you yet? If you were in that situation how would you react? I don't really know how to react. I have this gut instinct telling me to be angry, frustrated and to act almost like someone stole something from me. Then I have this feeling like maybe they just didn't know how to tell me or something came up. Like the positive side. Or maybe this has happened all because of a mangled report. Like it's all one misunderstanding and soon it will be explained. I have to hope that is what it is. I have to trust God with it.

Trying What?

Bless the lord. That's pretty much all I can say. I wanted to say how I've been trying some stuff on recommendation and well it's not working as I hoped it would. Have you ever known something and someone else just didn't see it the same way? Well that's how it is but still Bless the Lord he can give and take away, everything I have is his anyway.

Walking on water

Just think about this for one moment. Jesus walks on water right? And then Peter says Lord call me and I will come. So he did and Peter went. Peter was walking on water for a minute. Then he started to sink. Jesus caught him and said oh ye of little faith why did you doubt. Now imagine your latest problem as water. Jesus is sitting there on top of it calling you from the boat. Will you go to Jesus. I used to look at that story and say man Peter sucked he was walking on the water already and then he doubted. Like what kinda fool would do that. But lately I can't help thinking he was the one disciple who left the boat. If I was there would I be Peter and at least leave the boat? Or will I be like the rest and sit in the boat hoping it wont sink. Peter took a risk. Sure he failed but God was right there to catch him. And the funnier thing is God never said you shouldn't have left the boat you fool. No, God said why did you doubt. Like maybe, just maybe we are supposed to take risks? Oh well, I don't know all I know is I would rather be the one leaving the boat and I hope that given the chance I will be.

Existance

Life? I heard a quote, I can't remember who the author of the quoted section was but they said "The only philosophical question is whether or not to live." There are some days when I feel so "not here" anyways that I wonder what it would be like if I wasn't.
Anyway I was talking to a good friend today and he inquired about the extent of my friendships besides his. That is something I often wanted, to have a lot of friends. I never viewed myself as popular. In fact for most of my life I could say I only had 2 or 3 friends. But now I would say I have an army of friends. I got so focused on how bad I thought I had it that I really couldn't see Gods blessings. I am just lucky I have a God that loves me so much.

Cryin in my own arms

I found myself crying this morning. You know the kinda crying where you feel everything is just going wrong? Well maybe not but that is how it was. I just keep falling into this big bear trap of temptation. I end yesterday on like the best note I could have possibly ever. Then this morning I got up and I was just meditating and it was awesome. I felt so connected and I love that. But then I was tempted and so I fled like I should only to find some how temptation just followed me. Like I couldn't run far enough or temptation tripped me on the way. I admit I fell and I hate that. But the part I love God still loves me and well.... I know he forgives me but like I don't care that I fell really it's just the way I fell. Why can't I just jump over the out stretched leg of temptation and keep going. That's why I was crying.

Advice

People always want advice. They've made giving advice a profession now even. I guess you know in a sense being a Pastor falls into that category. Not that I have anything against giving advice but what's the limit. I mean how far will we go to not lean on God's advice? I guess getting advice from a friend on a particular issue isn't such a bad thing heck I do it all the time. But to pay to go to a therapist for an hour on how you should live your life? One question is how are they saying you should live your life. To the worlds standards? Are they telling you that you need a better job or anything of the sort? Well I refuse to conform to the worlds standards. If I need advice I have my friends and Pastors. Maybe one day I'll be a Pastor but if that happens I'll be sure to be giving my advice and leadership from where it counts which is the word.